Talking to your partner

When it comes to relationships and sex, one of the most potentially damaging things is what isn't said. Why? Because both partners are trying to second-guess what the other is thinking and feeling. Eventually one of you is going to have to break the ice. What are you waiting for?

Some of you may have trouble talking about ED. Once you start to share your thoughts and feelings, you're on your way to clearing up all the assumptions or misunderstandings that may have been gnawing away at both of you - and eating away at your relationship.

Here are some things to consider when you are communicating with your partner about sex:

  • Talking about sexual issues should NOT be done after an unsuccessful attempt at making love.
  • Set time aside outside the bedroom (plan a romantic dinner, sit by the fireplace). The idea is to have a calm and relaxing atmosphere.
  • Be honest, talk about how you have been feeling. It's OK to say you are uncomfortable discussing this. (e.g., I feel awkward talking about this, but I need you to know how I feel, and I really want to do something about it, for me and for us).
  • Be positive. Reassure them that you are getting help. Thank your partner for their support, tell them how much you appreciate them and reassure them that you are attracted to them.
  • Ask your partner for their support and help while you address the issue.

Here are some conversation starters you can use to start communicating with your partner:

  • You know that I love being with you, right? I want to make our sex life the best it can be, so I decided to get help.
  • I know you've noticed that I am having some trouble with my erections, and I promise, it's not about you. I want and love sex with you. I need to figure out what is going on in my body and I hope you'll help me by being patient.
  • I love having sex with you, so I'm really trying to figure out what's going on with my penis, because it's definitely not about how I feel about you.
  • Can we talk about how I feel about you?

When you're in a relationship, you don't have to deal with ED all alone. So this site has a whole section just for your partner. Click here if you're in a hurry to see it!

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